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10 Ways to Find Joy in Motherhood When Things Feel Hard

There are definitely hard days we face as moms but there are also so many ways to find the joy of motherhood and enjoy the small moments.

When my husband and I were in the middle of college and I was working part-time to support our family, I longed for the day when I could be a stay-at-home mom. Now we have two little boys and I am able to be at home with them…and it’s a lot harder than I thought. I don’t need to list all the challenges I have faced since becoming a stay-at-home mom but the biggest things I struggled with were boredom, loneliness, and overwhelm. However, I have really tried to be intentional in finding joy and creating a life I love. So even though I’m definitely not perfect at it, I wanted to share some things that have helped me find joy in motherhood.

  1. Remember motherhood is a relationship, not a list of tasks.

Sometimes when we think of motherhood, we think of homemaking. The cooking, cleaning, laundry, diaper changing, the works. However, as important as those tasks are, they are NOT motherhood. Motherhood is your personal and special relationship with each of your children. Think of ways you can connect with each of your children today and show them they are loved. Those relationships are more important than the never ending list of chores and tasks.

  1. Take time for self-care

Listen, I know “self-care” is kind of a buzz word online right now, but maybe it’s for a good reason! You have to find something that you love to do and that helps you feel energized. I used to think a good break was taking a few minutes to scroll social media but that actually usually makes me feel worse and not better. Some ideas of actual self-care could be going to a fitness class, going on a drive by yourself, reading a good book, listening to a podcast, or taking time for one of your hobbies.

  1. Practice gratitude

I know that gratitude isn’t easy. It’s not something that comes naturally to me. Recently I have tried taking time at the end of each day to write down something cute or funny each of my kids did that day. I also write down something my husband did for me and one way I saw God’s hand in my life that day. That always brings a smile to my face and helps me feel gratitude. Act like every day is Mother’s Day and appreciate yourself and the things you do for your family.

  1. Slow down

One thing I love about being a stay-at-home mom is that I have the opportunity to slow down. I try to do this by taking time to either sit and watch my kids play or playing with them. Sure, I do try to get a lot of stuff done every day but I also try to cherish the opportunities I get to slow down and appreciate the small moments.

  1. Keep a long-term perspective

I know everyone says “Enjoy this time, it goes by way too fast” and it really does! Whenever I feel frustrated with my kids, I try to keep the perspective of how short this time really is. I’ve heard someone say try imagining you’re able to go back in time and spend a few moments with your kids at this age right now…what would you do? It helps put things into perspective for me and find the joy of motherhood.

  1. Get together with other moms

Getting together with other moms can be so great! You get to be with people in the same phase of life as you who understand what you are going through. Your kids get to play together and entertain each other. If you don’t feel like you have that sense of community, see if you can reach out to moms in your area (try local Facebook groups!) and see if you can set up park play dates.

  1. Let go of perfection

I used to be a self-proclaimed perfectionist. I thought it was a good thing and it took me years to realize that it was actually harming my mental health. Let go of the idea of the “perfect mom” you have in your head. A good mom is one that loves her kids. You’re a good mom. Your kids don’t need a perfect mom, they need YOU. Don’t be afraid to say sorry and own when you’ve messed up. That will teach your kids more than perfection ever will.

  1. Get outside

Do you ever feel a little stir crazy when you’ve been inside all day? Getting outside with your kids can be a game changer. You can go out the backyard, go on a little walk, or go to the park. I always feel like we’ve accomplished a lot when we’ve spent time playing outside. Both my kids and I feel better. (Need tips on getting your kids to play outdoors? Check out my post here!)

  1. Try to find humor

I honestly think having a sense of humor may be one the keys to surviving as a parent. When I walk around the corner and my toddler has dumped out an entire container of baking soda, my first instinct isn’t to laugh. However, I’ll get my phone out, take the picture, and realize I may laugh about this someday. And then I get my toddler to help me clean it up.

  1. Connect with God

The days I spend time connecting with God are some of my best days as a mom. I gain confidence in myself, perspective about life, and peace in my heart. I wish I could say that I get up hours before my kids to study the scriptures and pray in peace but honestly I usually just read a few verses on my phone while my kids play. I have also tried to listen to more podcasts that focus on God. That connection helps me show up better every day.

I hope at least one of these tips resonated with you. See if there’s one thing you could try to find more joy in motherhood this week. You got this!

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